The 5 Love Languages

Valentines Day takes place Monday, February 14th. It’s a day that celebrates love through gifting and kind acts to others who are special in our lives. Each of us experiences love in our own unique way, and when we know what another person’s love language is, we can choose the gestures that will resonate with them most. May it be a partner, friend, parent or child, when we know which actions speak to us and make us feel loved, we can ask other people for exactly what we need. 

So, do you know what your love language is? 

By looking at what may light up yourself or other’s, we can identify which of the love languages most resonates within. It’s easy to figure out yours from what elements mentioned below you typically give (since many of us give to others what we would most like), or when thinking of others asking them what their perfect day would look and feel like.

Here’s a deeper look at The Five Languages (concepts from on Gary Chapman’s #1 NY Times Best Selling Book) and how they can be applied and optimized in your life! 

Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

Sometimes it is just nice to hear how much someone appreciates you. For those whose love language is words of affirmation, they appreciate verbal connection. They want to hear what you appreciate or admire about them which may sound like “I really loved it when you joined me for dinner last night” or “Wow, it was so nice of you to organize that neighborhood bonfire” or maybe just the direct act of saying “I love you”. This love language is important to those who appreciate compliments, and words can really light up their day.

Love Language #2: Acts of Service

For some, actions speak louder than words. These folks feel most loved when others lend a helping hand or do something kind to assist us. This includes doing things like taking out the trash, cooking dinner, or stopping to pick up something they need. These acts make the person feel special, thought of, and important. 

Love Language #3: Gifts

Those of us whose love language is gifts care about the thought that goes into a thoughtful gift. They aren’t necessarily materialistic, but instead they appreciate when someone presents them with a specific thing that helps them feel special.  Surprising them with something they really want, bringing them a special souvenir from a trip, or gifting them flowers for no reason can make them feel loved most of all. They are often looking to feel remembered and thought about in a special way.

Love Language #4: Quality Time

If your primary love language is quality time, nothing makes you happier than just being with someone you care about. Having another person’s undivided, dedicated attention is precious currency amongst the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. For those who appreciate quality time, simple acts like putting your cell phone away when you are with them, planning a one-on-one visit, or going for a walk together makes their heart smile.

Love Language #5: Physical Touch

Those who love physical touch feel connected to others through a physical connection. This can include holding hands, back rubs, hugs, or quirky touches when you walk by. It’s also important to remember that for some people living alone or those self-isolating they could be experiencing the pains a lack of touch. Asking someone if they need a hug can be a heart warming gift that means more to them than you know. 

Love languages are a worthwhile concept that can help us form deeper, more worthwhile relationships in our busy world. At Heatherwood, we encourage you to reflect and discover what your own love language is, and also what your friends, family, and fellow community members’ could also value most. After all, we all are experiencing our own difficulties in life, and the best thing we can really do for each other is to be kind and show some meaningful love!